7. People Judging You
A huge piece of weight loss is social. We want to fit in and be able to eat all the things when everyone else is. At the same time, we want to feel and look our best. We both crave acceptance for what we eat and how we look and fear judgment of what we eat and how we look We fear judgment and being left out on both sides: either we aren’t partaking in what everyone else is and they will judge us for it, or we don’t look and feel the way we want and fear others will judge us for it. We get stuck at our weight believing that we have to be polite, we can’t say no, we can’t get into a situation where others know we are trying to lose weight, or we aren’t eating the way everyone else is eating I want you to understand how this is playing a role in you losing weight, or not, and how to come to peach with this I just spoke with someone recently who thought her work was judging her ability to do her job because of recent weight she has put on. This stuff runs deep, it can feel scary. I have another client who has made some changes to how she eats and her weekly ladies night out group noticed and said something. When i coached her through this she was like I don’t know if they are judging me or they think I am judging them because i’m not doing what they are doing anymore I told her there is no way to know what they are thinking, so you get to decide. What she decided is that her friends are proud of her, they are happy for her, and they support her no matter what. That’s the thing about many of these social situations, you are the one making it into something in your head, so you get to decide what everyone else is thinking (for the most part, probably nothing!) When someone is offering you food you don’t want, you often times know this is going to come up ahead of time. so , make a plan for how you want to handle it. What will you say? And be prepared for them to be upset and mad, and you being ok with it What most of my clients find is that when they strike a balance in how they want to eat, the social judgment of others stops mattering. You no longer care if your social circle makes comments about your food choices. You feel confident to attend ALL the events because you know you won’t make choices that negatively effect your weight. You also get to weigh what you want and feel good in your skin. When you feel good and love your choices it stops mattering what others think. This has come up a lot for me lately in a way i didn’t expect. I am pregnant with my first and I never realized how much people want to tell you to eat because youre pregnant You have to feed the baby, youre eating for two My husband actually told me i was starving the baby because i didn’t want to eat a meal when i had no hunger for it….i told him if i’m not starving, the baby isn’t starving. The point of this is, all of these things have no weight on my choice to eat or not. I don’t feel pressure or increased desire because ooo i get to eat for two now. When you get to a solid place where you honor yourself first, everyone elses opinion about what and how you should eat stops mattering.
I'm Hayley Sohn, Nutritionist, Weight Loss Expert and your host of Weight Loss Without Dieting.
If you are interested in working with me, I recommend you join my Waitlist and be the first to know when spots open: bit.ly/callwaitlist
